Honoring our Protectors

Honoring our Protectors
Acrylic on Wood
35 x 35in

Somewhere on this journey I was conditioned to believe that to revive love I have to be open.

So I let myself and others break down my walls, deconstruct my boundaries, and rip the ground out from underneath me.

Inspecting and dissecting all of my protectors.

Over the past few years this process of dissecting my life and energetically analyzing everything.. has been dissolving into the practice of being with.

This practice of being with allows myself to transform and open naturally when my body is ready and feels safe to.

And I realized that forcing myself to open and transform when I didn’t feel safe only reinforced my trauma patterns. Only reinforced my avoidant or anxious patterns and led me to abandon myself in ways I wasn’t even aware of.

In practicing being with.. I came across a practice a dear friend was offering.. Called honoring our protectors.

In this space the intention was only to be with protective parts of us while in connection. Doing this validated the fuck out of my protectors so much that they naturally softened. They felt heard and a sense of belonging that I had never fully experienced.

This painting is such an important anchor for me. Reminding me that it is so valid to keep myself safe and set boundaries. So I fully trust and validate those protective parts of me and when they feel heard and welcomed by me they soften enough to find a safe supportive way to stay in connection with others, with my whole self, and the world around me.

We are all so worthy of love and respect no matter our boundaries, barriers, or protectors.