"INTERNAL BLEEDING TYPE BEAT" (Dibia$e Sample Challenge)
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Video Runtime: 7 minutes & 39 seconds
Produced by Dutchyyy
"INTERNAL BLEEDING TYPE BEAT" #DIBIFLIPSESSIONS04 Submission that was never officially submitted.
Backstory:
If you've been following the previous artifacts in the Proof of Life (continued...) series the name and context surrounding this particular artifact shouldn't be too confusing.
For those who are new to series, TDLR (Recurring severe infection recurred the day prior to my birthday last month, being it's something that has happened a few times a year going on decade my body has built up resistance to all available antibiotics, but when your body is in sepsis you have no other choice. I usually get 3 to 5 months after taking antibiotics where I feel 30% better but this time they did not take, which only makes the infection stronger and halfway through the 10 day antibiotic cycle I began (TMI) bleeding internally... As of today, this has not stopped. I am as far from well as it gets physically but I am still Dutch in spirit and my spirit loves to create, So when the homie Dibia$e holds a sample challenge, my spirit really wants to show up. So I keep trying to show up... I keep trying to show up as much as possible regardless of how bad I feel. I keep showing up and using the energy I don't have to use my creativity... create artwork, music, videos, type backstories and document them.
Of all forms of creative expression, creating music is my greatest joy but it's also the most difficult of the bunch to do when your entire body is betraying you. but I keep attempting it haha.
The first part of this video should have been my submission, I should have exported the beat instead of recording a proof of work video in real time and submitted it then, but I wasn't feeling well so I put off finalizing it for later.
Unfortunately the deadline was the next morning and I was having one of the worst nights healthwise to date. I really had no business opening up Ableton Live in the state I was in but a stubborn little engine that didn't want to admit defeat was in the drivers seat. So I opened up the session and instead of just bouncing out a sequenced version of what I already began, I got distracted by my body and ended up recording 20 minutes of chaos (Evolving Portals) or Devolving in this case rather. 6 hrs passed as the sun came up and I realized I didn't do anything but experiment and record a bunch of madness instead of exporting something I could submit. So I admitted defeat, pivoted to editing a 20 minute session down to a 4 minute video just to show proof that I didn't just blow it off and posted the video and apologized that I wouldn't be able to officially submit....
Next thing I know, Dibi is playing part of nightmare fuel video on the playback stream haha.
I don't know how much longer I can keep trying to show up publicly anymore. As much as my little spirit wants to interact and be productive, I'm not sure that I'm sending proper signals that do my current harsh reality justice. I say this but I'll likely keep showing up until the day I no longer can.... This is so weird to share publicly, I'm not a fan of this level of transparency, but I do no one justice by going through all of this in silence.
This track will likely never be officially exported.
Please show Dibia$e some love over on his youtube channel below <3