11mo

"Remind me please"

Please visit the main collection page here:β†’ Proof of life (continued...)← to experience proper world building as it is meant to exist.

Happy Birthday Nana! Thanks for the reminder Mom <3

πŸ‘΅πŸŽ‰

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πŸ“–Backstory:πŸ“–

I've always been self aware of my strengths and weaknesses. If my life were a JRPG/MMO, I began with a specific stat distribution that would probably look something like this...
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🎨 - Creativity / Imagination [+ 10]
πŸ’ͺ - Strength [+ 3]
πŸ›‘ - Resilience [+ 8]
🧠 - I.Q. [+5]
πŸ’œ - E.Q. [+9]
πŸ”­ - Focus / Retention [+1]
🩸 - HP [+3]
πŸƒβ€β™‚οΈ - Stamina [+3]
⚠ - Awareness [+8]

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I was Diagnosed w/ both Scoliosis and Severe ADHD in Elementary School, My Parents couldn't afford the corrective back brace, but tried their hardest to get me to take Ritalin for my ADHD. I Refused the medication. I did horrible in school because I couldn't listen and write to take notes at the same time fast enough so I couldn't digest or retain anything taught, So instead I would just draw in class. This continued from Elementary School and all through High school. Eventually pivoting from Drawing to Writing Lyrics in Class Jr. High & High school (which paid off since my first release on vinyl happened while still in High school.
πŸ”—DiscographyπŸ”—
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From very early on in life, I leaned into Strengths and tried my hardest to level up my weaker stats, but all efforts always failed and I was hard on myself because it felt like despite my desire and determination, increasing those weaker stats was just out of my control.πŸ˜₯
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I've always been good with near perfect recall for memories attached to experiences, but I've never been able to retain things like numbers, dates, names of people, songs, etc, appointments, deadlines and so on. and I felt really bad about it because sticky notes, bookmarks, lists, journals only work if you remember to look at them.
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At this point, if you've read this far you're probably thinking "What does this have to do with your Grandma or mother?" So let me explain. πŸ—£
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My Mother saw how hard I would take forgetting my loved ones birthdays year after year and in 2013 she created an email alert system through google. Scheduling reminder alerts for me and my brother that trigger 10 minutes before that special day begins. I was so grateful for this and it helped me so much from that point on to not miss the chance to let special people in my life know that I love them.
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My Mother Debbie passed away in August of 2016, My Nana just recently passed away on Nov 3rd, 2023... She would have been 95 Today <3
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I have no idea how these alerts are still firing off almost a decade after my mom passed away but i'm so grateful they still are active, even tho it wasn't the best feeling waking up to seeing it's my Grandma's Birthday while I'm still alone in the 10x12 room in the apartment she lived in for decades that I moved into during the pandemic to be her caretaker. Since she has passed I've been treated horrible by Leasing Office, not letting me finish out the lease so I can get transparency on my health before I lose my county health coverage, Not even Evicting me, but playing dirty and pretending like I haven't been a resident here for years and slapping me with an unlawful detainer which is insane because my Grandmother was the longest living Tenant in this apartment complex, I've been coming here for decades, while they bought out the apartment complex a few years ago. They want me to move out, but do petty and unlawful things like deactivating my key card to access my mailbox or get in and out of the gate, even after telling them I'm moving out across the country and will be out by the 15th. My Grandmother would be so heart broken if she knew what they have been putting me through the past few months. So even though I'll be flying across the country on the 13th of February to a new home, free of toxic mold. I feel like my Grandma's looking down heart broken on her birthday seeing me in this apartment with all my belongings packed super stressed out trying to navigate the insane logistics and costs of moving long distance while my physical health is beyond severe and the reality of this move means I'm losing healthcare and taking on new expenses. My Grandma was such a doomer haha. I don't know if she's looking down proud of how I've been handling all of this and thankful for the people that have gone above and beyond to make this move in general a reality, or if she's upset I'm not fighting back when I was so close to getting transparency on my health.
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High emotion filled Artifact, Documenting Proof of life on a high emotioned filled day in what's been a high emotioned filled year. Happy Birthday Nana and Thank you for reminding me Mom πŸ™