Now Ye Are a Couple of Handsome Fellas, Aren't Ye?

And we got inside MY candy shop with a roundhouse kick to the very same door, and everyone startled like if they saw Hitler himself. But NO! It was Pomelo and his best friend forever Raul aka "Caballo Homosexual de las Montañas" Rodriguez. Our dicks grew HUGE. And we ordered some candy, you know? The new joint candy I was cooking for a long, long time.
The bartender told me - "Pom, what the fuck are you doing? This is YOUR place, stupid moron, don't act like if it is not. You are really fucked up." while he was frowning -, then I realized - This is MY place. Ok. That's true. Now I need to test that joint candy. - And hell if I did. It was delicious. You gotta smoke it. But it tastes so sweet, and it has a touch of acidity that gives you the feeling that the smoke melts inside your mouth.
So yeah, the joint candy alongside some beers, everything turned strange. We were at the bar, talking nonsense as I recall, and a gentleman, tall as it can be, approached us like if HE was the owner of the Candy Shop. POMELO'S CANDY SHOP, MOTHERFUCKER.
He told me - "Good ol' fellas, here I find ye, nowhere else than in the most known candy shop in the entire world" -, then as if I were some kind of thunderbolt, I replied - "Get the fuck outta here ye old basterd or I will fist fuck your belly button into oblivion" - and he just laughed. - "What a couple of handsome and funny fellas are ye, aren't ye?" -, after that, he just stood there, looking at us, like if we were trophies. We resumed our talk, in utter silence because Raul is a telepathic motherfucker, and when we told a joke, this other fucker laughed as well. WHAT THE FUCK and I jumped over the bar, and kicked this basterd in the mouth. He flew, like a bullet, through the door.
The last thing I remember is waking up in the hospital with Rolando and Raul by my side.